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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22980805">I Think I'm in Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bicadyheron/pseuds/heatherheatherheatherandveronica'>heatherheatherheatherandveronica (bicadyheron)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Heather, Heather, Heather, and a babe (Veronica) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy &amp; O'Keefe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Because I can, Bisexual Disaster, Bisexual Veronica Sawyer, F/F, Gay, Lesbian Heather Chandler, Lesbian Heather McNamara, Multi, Poly Heathers, Polyamory, Song: I Think I'm In Love (Kat Dahlia), Underage Drinking, Useless Lesbians, Why Did I Write This?, i love them, it's just chaos honestly, it's not using lyrics but it's definitely based on that, somebody tell me how to tag, teenagers being dumb, they're all dating - Freeform, they're all disasters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 05:48:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,076</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22980805</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bicadyheron/pseuds/heatherheatherheatherandveronica</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>While Veronica and Heather Chandler get drunk at a party together, they kiss and freak out. Heather and Heather are chilling with some wine as McNamara gets some stuff off her chest. </p><p>It's not as simple as that, though. Veronica and Chandler can't stop looking at Heather and Heather, too... and the feeling is mutual but god forbid any of them actually Talk About Their Feelings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Heather Chandler/Heather Duke, Heather Chandler/Heather Duke/Heather McNamara/Veronica Sawyer, Heather Chandler/Heather McNamara, Heather Chandler/Veronica Sawyer, Heather Duke/Heather McNamara, Heather Duke/Veronica Sawyer, Heather McNamara/Veronica Sawyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Heather, Heather, Heather, and a babe (Veronica) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1651528</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>106</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Secrets Shared</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I hope you enjoy this!!!! Don't know how often updates will be (as per usual because I'm a disaster and in college), but I do intend on actually completing this, so... yeah.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>October 29<sup>th</sup>, 2019 10:37pm</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Veronica had always... admired the Heathers. Heather Chandler specifically. So, when she forged her hall pass and they gave her a makeover, she was stunned, overwhelmed, and flattered. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Not to mention she was suddenly hot as hell.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>“Veronica,” Duke nudged her harshly. “Heather said to haul ass to the caf, </em>pronto<em>.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>She couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “How very.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Standing in the corner and thinking about her induction to the Heathers wasn’t how Veronica imagined her very first party, but Chandler had ditched her within minutes, going off to... return the favor for whoever let them in the party. She shuddered at the thought.</p><p> </p><p>She sipped her beer slowly, grimacing at the taste, but wanting to loosen up.</p><p> </p><p>The bass resonated through her chest, adding to her anxiety from being in a crowd of strangers. At this point she had lost track of how many boys had tried to feel her up, and she hadn’t ever had a handle on Heather’s whereabouts.</p><p> </p><p>That second part was oddly the thing that bothered her the most. Somewhere deep down she had thought Heather had invited her to the party as a... date.</p><p> </p><p>Veronica wasn’t dumb, she realized that her admiration for the Heathers stretched beyond jealousy at how little they were bothered. Her eyes followed their short skirts down the hallway, and she was no stranger to daydreaming about Chandler’s long legs. She was undeniably bi.</p><p> </p><p>The new kid entertained her fantasies for a short while, with his fuck-all attitude and motorcycle vibes, but Veronica’s thoughts always returned to Heather Chandler.</p><p> </p><p>Speak of the devil. She opened her eyes after choking down another mouthful of beer to see Heather Chandler marching down the hallway. Even here, even drunk, her aura of power radiated, and it was like the crowd parted just for her. Veronica was only a <em>little</em> jealous of the boy who had just gotten under that tight red dress. Oh, who was she kidding. She was tipsy and <em>very</em> jealous of anyone who had been privy to the sight of Heather even half undressed.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, thank fuck. Veronica!” the strawberry-blonde exclaimed. “I thought you had ditched me for a hot second.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, and miss this <em>exciting</em> party?” Despite her feelings for Heather, Veronica wasn’t about to be pushed around. And truthfully, this party had been hell so far.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be such a pillowcase,” Heather whispered harshly in her ear. Veronica shivered. “Let’s <em>dance</em>!”</p><p> </p><p>That was how Veronica found herself dancing awkwardly on the dance floor, hand in hand with Heather Chandler. A few Jello shots later and both girls were giggling as the music drowned out any hope at conversation. They jumped and grinded and shook their hips and Veronica couldn’t keep her eyes off of Heather.</p><p> </p><p>When a slow song played, they <em>jokingly</em> embraced each other and swayed to the music, and at the end Veronica <em>ironically</em> leaned in for a kiss and <em>playfully</em> captured Heather’s soft lips with her own and –</p><p> </p><p>Holy shit. Heather was kissing her back. Veronica pulled away, staring at Heather, eyes darting around the room.</p><p> </p><p>“Veronica,” Heather snapped.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened, I...” the brunette trailed off as Heather cupped her cheek.</p><p> </p><p>“Veronica, why’d you pull away?”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t know. Scared?” she muttered, slurring her words slightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Scared of what, dummy? The people around us? It’s 2019, nobody worth interacting with cares about being gay.”</p><p> </p><p>“But you... you aren’t?”</p><p> </p><p>“Veronica. I <em>am.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>Veronica opened her mouth a few times, only to have words fail her.</p><p> </p><p>“Vera... alright, I’ve shocked your drunk ass. Let’s get out of here and talk.”</p><p> </p><p>Veronica followed Heather out of the pressing crowd and to her Porsche through the cool, fall air. She wasn’t sure either of them should really be driving right now but was still too stunned to argue.</p><p> </p><p>Heather sighed as she started up the car, looking over at Veronica with an unreadable look in her eyes. <em>Or maybe I just can’t read it ‘cause I’m druuuunk</em>, the brunette mused. <em>Yeah. That’s it. I’m smashed and Heather’s gay – wait. Gay? Heather? Homosexual. Ho. Mo. Sexual. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Veronica?” Heather began softly, breaking the other girl out of her reverie.</p><p> </p><p>“Hm?”</p><p> </p><p>“Veronica. That kiss... it wasn’t because I’m drunk. It wasn’t to get blackmail against you. I... the way you were looking at me, Vera? I’ve wanted you to look at me like that for <em>so long</em>. So...”</p><p> </p><p>The blonde began pulling out of the driveway when Veronica didn’t respond immediately. She kept her eyes on the road when the hand wrapped around her arm and the soft voice called her name from the passenger seat.</p><p> </p><p>“Heatherrrrr,” she whined. “Pay attention to me!”</p><p> </p><p>“I am, you pillowcase, but I’m also driving. My ears are paying attention to you while my eyes are paying attention to the road.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ugh, <em>fine.</em>” Heather would know Veronica was crossing her arms indignantly even if she hadn’t missed the presence of her hand on her arm. “Guess it’ll wait until we get to your house.”</p><p> </p><p>“My house? Who said you were staying over?”</p><p> </p><p>“I live another 15 minutes away from you, which is definitely too much to be driving when you’re drunk. Also, your bed is so much better to wake up in with a hangover.”</p><p> </p><p>Heather chuckled. “How the fuck would you know?”</p><p> </p><p>“Just guessing,” Veronica sang. “Your house now!”</p><p> </p><p>The brunette clapped her hands lightly as Heather snorted indignantly. “Fine.”</p><p> </p><p>Thank god Heather hadn’t decided to drive Veronica all the way to her house, because she was getting more nauseous seemingly by the second.</p><p> </p><p>“Heather, I feel <em>weird</em>.” Then it was “Heather, I think I drank too much alcohol,” followed by varying complaints about her stomach almost incessantly until Heather pulled into her driveway. <em>Then</em> it was a mumbled “oh thank fuck,” before Veronica was bolting out of the car to hurl her stomach contents under the nearest shrub. At least she was sober enough to make it out of the car.</p><p> </p><p>Heather could hear her retch a few more times before she straightened up and met her in the doorway.</p><p> </p><p>“You gonna do that again anytime soon?”</p><p> </p><p>Veronica shook her head vehemently, almost losing her balance in the process. “No, definitely not. That was enough.”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright then, I’ll get you one of the spare toothbrushes. You know where my room is.”</p><p> </p><p>Veronica stumbled up the stairs and into Heather’s room, immediately flopping onto the queen-sized bed and marveling at the softness. “So this is what it feels like to be rich...” she mumbled under her breath.</p><p> </p><p><em>What I wouldn’t give to wake up in Heather Chandler’s bed far more often</em>, she thought to herself, before sitting bolt upright. “Heather!” she called out. Soon enough she heard footsteps in the hallway.</p><p> </p><p>“Veronica? Your drunk ass hollered?”</p><p> </p><p>“Heather, you kissed me? I kissed you? I don’t know. We kissed?”</p><p> </p><p>Heather blushed and nodded. “So we did.”</p><p> </p><p>“Does that mean you’re my girlfriend now?” Veronica slapped a hand over her mouth. “Shit. I did <em>not</em> mean to blurt that. I’m a little...” she giggled, “a little drunk.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my god, Vera, you are <em>smashed</em>. If you remember any of this in the morning, and if that’s what you want, we can be girlfriends now.”</p><p> </p><p>Veronica giggled uncontrollably, kicking her legs against the bed like a toddler. “Does that mean I can kiss you whenever I want?”</p><p> </p><p>“Within reason, sure,” Heather nodded, pulling Veronica to her feet so that she could brush her teeth and sleep off the alcohol in her system.</p><p> </p><p>“What about now?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, sorry, girl. You got major puke-breath. Go brush your teeth and maybe we can kiss a little before we go to sleep.”</p><p> </p><p>Veronica stared at her with wide eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Now!” Heather snapped. “Before I change my mind.”</p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t going to change her mind, but Veronica didn’t need to know that.</p><p> </p><p>Heather lounged on her bed and plugged in her phone, sending one text to the other Heathers before turning it off for the night.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Hey Heather, since Heather’s taking Veronica to that party tonight, do you want to do something together?" Heather asked, tugging anxiously at her cheer skirt.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure, Mara. Did you have anything in mind?”</p><p> </p><p>Heather McNamara bounced on her heels slightly, trying to phrase her request gently. “I didn’t really, just as long as it’s the two of us.”</p><p> </p><p>Duke smirked, reading easily between the lines. “It’s a date, then.”</p><p> </p><p>Mac’s eyes widened comically, a blush spreading across her cheeks. “A... a date?”</p><p> </p><p>“Like... as in, we have plans. It’s a date. That’s something people say.” Heather flipped her dark hair over her shoulder nonchalantly, looking at Heather with mock confusion. “Why so flustered?”</p><p> </p><p>“No reason, I’m just... out of it today. Sorry.” The cheerleader looked meek, an unusual demeanor for any of the Heathers. “Come by my house around seven?”</p><p> </p><p>“Works for me. See ya then, Mac.” Duke winked and waved as she strutted off to her Jeep. She had a good feeling about tonight. Maybe if they were alone, Mara wouldn’t be so afraid to make the first move. It wasn’t like Heather couldn’t do it herself, but she could read Heather McNamara like a book. She’d been crushing for a while and was anxious but determined to make the first move. And who was Duke to take that from her?</p><p> </p><p>Around six, she ate a small dinner and touched up her makeup – adding a little extra smoke to her smoky eye, just because. She left her green blazer behind, keeping the skirt and socks but donning a turquoise crop top that was just a little <em>sexy</em>. She knew that Mac was probably preparing in a similar way.</p><p> </p><p>When she pulled up to Heathers house, the blonde was already waiting at the door, smiling. “Hey, Heather!” she grinned. “You look really pretty... uh... really nice.”</p><p> </p><p>Duke smirked at the blush spreading across the other girls cheeks. It was... really cute. “You’re looking quite adorable yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>Mac led them into her room, where she had set up her TV so they could better watch it from the bed, and Duke spotted a bottle of wine and two glasses on the nightstand. <em>Nice,</em> she thought.<em> If she’s tipsy and we’re alone, she’s gonna say something. God... I want to just kiss her but I know she wants to make the first move.</em></p><p> </p><p>They sat on the bed watching Disney movies and drinking the wine until around 11, Duke noticing Mac’s hand reaching out every so often, as if to hold hers, only to pull it back as soon as it passed the barrier of her thigh.</p><p> </p><p>After the second movie, Duke swallowed the rest of her third glass of wine and looked at Heather. “Hey, Em?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?” the blonde whispered nervously, fidgeting with a strand of her hair.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay? You’ve been a bit off all night.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm? Oh, yeah, just have some stuff on my mind.”</p><p> </p><p>“Anything I can help with?” Duke asked gently, resting a hand on the other Heather’s knee. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I mean, I’m just afraid I could ruin things if I say what I’m thinking about.”</p><p> </p><p>“Heather...” Duke began, choosing her words tentatively. “Nothing you could possibly say will change how I feel about you, short of you like... murdering somebody. But even then, I’d probably offer to help you hide the body.”</p><p> </p><p>Mac giggled, and Duke smiled, dragging her thumb over Heather’s knee in what she hoped was a comforting manner.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay... Um, I guess I’ll just say it then. Uh, I’m gay as fuck, and I sorta kinda definitely have a crush on <em>you</em> and I hope this doesn’t make things weird, like, if you don’t like me back that’s fine and I just really want us to stay friends no matter what.”</p><p> </p><p>Heather let the blonde finish rambling, not wanting to interrupt. “Heather...” she whispered delicately. “I like you too.”</p><p> </p><p>Mac’s eyes went comically wide. “Really?”</p><p> </p><p>“Really. Would you be okay if I kissed you?”</p><p> </p><p>She nodded. Duke leaned forward slowly, sliding her other hand up Heather’s back to tangle in the hair at the nape of her neck. Mac leaned in as well, closing the gap between their lips in the softest, sweetest kiss either girl had ever experienced.</p><p> </p><p>Mac pulled back first, smiling widely. “So, Dukey, does this mean I can call you my girlfriend?”</p><p> </p><p>The brunette chuckled. “Dukey? That’s what you’re going with?” Heather blushed. “But yes, I would love it if you would call me your girlfriend.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Expanding Hearts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Veronica can sometimes talk about her emotions, once she finally figures out just what the fuck it is that she's feeling. Chandler just rolls with it.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you guys enjoy the next installation of 'the Heathers and Veronica are fucking disasters when it comes to feelings'</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="MsoNormal">
  <b>November - December 2019.</b>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  
</p><p class="MsoNormal">In the few weeks since she and Chandler had kissed at the party and solidified their relationship, a lot had happened. First, Heather Mac had come up to her at some point in the following week, claiming she had “big news”.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>“Veronica!” the blonde chirped. “Come with me for a sec, I have big news I needed to tell you!”</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>“Okay,” she had responded, following the bouncing girl to their usual bathroom. “What’s all this about?”</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>“Well, when you and Heather were at that party, Heather and I hung out and... oh, well, first: I’m a lesbian, I’m pretty sure. Anyways. I like girls. I told Duke that I like girls, specifically her, and she likes me too, Vera! So, we’re girlfriends now!”</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>Despite the fact that this was good news, Veronica felt her heart sinking. “I’m glad you felt safe enough to come out to me and tell me about your relationship,” she smiled forcedly. “I’m really happy for you guys.”</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>But she wasn’t, not really, and couldn’t figure out why. Veronica was with Chandler, and now she knew that they wouldn’t have to worry about the other Heathers being homophobic – they were dating each other. </em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>“Oh, and I guess, in return, I’m bi – I like girls and guys.” The brunette blurted quickly before they left the bathroom.</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>“Oh!” Mac smiled. “Thanks for telling me!”</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  
</p><p class="MsoNormal">After that, she and her girlfriend (that word was still new on her tongue, especially when using it to refer to Heather Chandler) had talked about coming out at least to the other Heathers. That had gone fairly well, and simply, in the bathroom before class one day.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>“Girls, listen up!” Chandler announced. “We have news.”</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>McNamara didn’t look surprised, Duke seemed perplexed, and Veronica stood there fidgeting with her hands because she didn’t know what else to do.</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>“I’m a lesbian, Ronnie is bi, yadda yadda, we’re dating. If you don’t like it, I won’t hesitate to let the school know your biggest secrets.”</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  
</p><p class="MsoNormal"><em>Veronica’s eyes widened at that last part. She walked up to whisper in the blonde’s ear. “You will absolutely </em> not <em> do that, no matter what. Be the bigger person.”</em></p><p class="MsoNormal">
  
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>Heather frowned at her but softened noticeably. “Okay, okay, just...” she sighed. “Please accept that.”</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  
</p><p class="MsoNormal"><em>Mac bounced on her heels and whispered something to Duke that Veronica couldn’t quite make out. “Oh, congratulations you guys! And Heather, oh my gosh, we would </em> never <em> not accept you... I mean, it would be sorta dumb if we did.”</em></p><p class="MsoNormal">
  
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>Chandler very obviously didn’t read between the lines, and Veronica and Duke chuckled at her confused expression. Duke spoke up. “Heather...” she paused to let out another bout of laughter. “Heather, she means that Mac and I are dating too.”</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  
</p><p class="MsoNormal">Then there was all the normal new relationship business. It had only been a couple weeks, but Veronica and Heather were past the awkward phase, and... well, suffice it to say that they were luckily compatible to satisfy each other on their nights alone.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">But something else had been occupying Veronica’s mind. Just <em>what </em> was that feeling she had when McNamara had told her that she and Duke were dating? Lord knows she wasn’t homophobic, she couldn’t be <em>jealous</em>, for fuck’s sake. She had a girlfriend of her own!</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">Even so, her mind kept going back to jealousy.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">It made sense, in a way. Jealousy fit all the instinctual reactions she had when Mara and Duke held hands and kissed goodbye and snuggled during movie nights. Even as she was pressed against <em>her</em> Heather, she could feel her lips curl unpleasantly and out of her control when the others whispered to each other.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">But it also didn’t make sense. She definitely liked Heather Chandler. Loved her, even. It was red in all the senses: it was love and tenderness, passion and fire, anger and lust. Veronica had never felt so full, so fulfilled, as she did with Heather. Somehow, though, somehow, she was <em>jealous</em>.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">Maybe talking things out with her diary would help.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">She let her mind fester in the confusion and jealousy for a solid week before actually listening to her logical side.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>December 3<sup>rd</sup>,</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal"><em>Dear Diary,</em> she began.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>Well, you know I’m dating Heather Chandler and it’s been great. And Heather and Heather are dating each other. That <span class="u">should</span> be great, and like, I am happy for them, but I’m also not.</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>I’m... jealous? That’s the only word I can think of that makes sense with my subconscious actions and my feelings, but I can’t figure out why the fuck I’m jealous.</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>Like... I’m with the Heathers. I know how to fly. I’ve literally fucked one of the eagles. Oh yeah, Heather and I had sex. A few times actually. That’s been wonderful too.</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>But back to Mara and Duke. Why in the fuck am I <span class="u">jealous of them</span>? I have Heather. I love Heather.</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>I mean, of course I love Heather and Heather too, but...</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal"><em>Oh, holy shit. Mother<span class="u">fucker</span></em> <span class="u"> . </span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>Mother of <span class="u">shit</span>, Diary. I love Heather and Heather.</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>And I mean, yeah, of course I do platonically. But I’m <span class="u">jealous</span>, and oh my fucking god, I’m in love with both of them too and I’m out of my depth here. </em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>Fucking shit. I’m in love with <span class="u">all three Heathers</span>. How the fuck did I get here?</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>Guess I don’t know how to fly as well as I thought, because I can’t fuck with the eagles well enough to not fall in love with ALL OF THEM.</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>Fucking shit, goddamn bitches, I’m in HELL. And I have to talk to Chandler about this, too. I’m worried about how she’ll react but like... it’s morally worse to hide it from her so...</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>That’s my tomorrow then. </em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>Goodnight. I’ll let you know if/when she crucifies me.</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <em>            Veronica Sawyer</em>
</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">Veronica slammed the journal shut on her desk before throwing it across the room in frustration. She buried her head in her hands and groaned loudly.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">Of course this was her life. Of fucking course.</p><p> </p><p></p><div>
  <p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
</div><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">
  <b> December 4<sup>th</sup>, 2019 </b>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">
  
</p><p class="MsoNormal">Heather wasn’t expecting a panicked call from her girlfriend at 3 in the morning on a random Wednesday. But it woke her up, and it was Veronica, so... she <em>had</em> to pick up.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“Veronica?” she answered after about three rings, voice bleary with sleep. She heard soft gasping breaths on the other end of the line. “Ronnie, babe, what’s wrong?”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">A sniff. “Panic attack.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">Chandler clutched her phone tighter. “Veronica, sweetheart, can you hear my breathing?”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“Uh... yeah.” Even though she was talking, her breathing didn’t even out. Heather squeezed her eyes shut. It pained her when Veronica got like this.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“Okay, then, love. Try to breathe with me, okay?”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">She took a deep breath in, hearing her girlfriend shakily follow her. “Out,” she whispered, letting out a sigh. She continued the pattern until Veronica’s breathing was considerably less raggedy.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“In,” she directed once more. “Out. Would you like to talk about this now?”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“I mean...” Heather heard a deep sigh. “This isn’t <em>really</em> a conversation I wanted to have over the phone, but I... I don’t want to worry you through the night.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">Veronica hardly noticed herself chewing on her bottom lip waiting for Chandler to respond. Her cat, who had been curled up at her feet since she started calming down, slunk over to lay across her legs.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“I... look, I want you to be comfortable telling me whatever you need to say in the situation you wanted... but you’re right in saying I would worry. I just... you had a panic attack over this, V. Do what you need to do.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">Tears were still rolling down her cheeks, but her mind wasn’t racing, and she could breathe. “I need to get this off my chest like... yesterday.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“Go ahead.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“So...” Veronica took a deep breath in preparation. “You know I love you, right?”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">She could hear Heather chuckle nervously. “You’re not... you’re not breaking up with me, are you?”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“God, no, Heather. No... But I guess I can’t promise that you’ll still want to be with me after I tell you this. I um... I don’t think there’s a way to say this without just being so fucking blunt so... here goes. I love you, a hell of a lot, and I don’t want to stop dating you, but like... I’m also definitely crushing on Mara and most likely Duke too...”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">Chandler couldn’t help but laugh. “Veronica, you had me all freaked out, and you just wanted to tell me you have a crush on the other Heathers?”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“Heather... I...”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">She realized her mistake when Veronica said her name in that tone. “Oh, Vera, no... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make light of this. I know this is serious to you, and I... I’m sorry for laughing, Ronnie, I just didn’t know how to react.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">A deep breath on the other end of the line. “Okay. Thank you. Um... do you have... opinions?” Veronica stroked her cat, JFK, to calm down.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“Opinions? You’re allowed to crush on whoever you want. Honestly babe, as long as you still want to date me, you can crush on Heather and Heather as much as you want.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“I don’t even know if it’s a crush, it’s just... when Mara told me about her and Duke... I wasn’t <em>happy</em> for them. It took me weeks to realize that I was fucking <em>jealous</em>, which I hate, but like... I guess I’m jealous, and me liking them is the only reasonable explanation I could come up with.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">Heather was silent. <em>Holy shit</em>. She was stunned, as Veronica had just described the feelings she’d been pushing down since the day Mac and Duke came out.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“Heather?” Her girlfriend snapped her out of her reverie.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“Hmm?”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“Red, you were awfully quiet for a while there. Are you <em>sure</em> you’re okay with this? Because I’m sure if I give it a few weeks, I’ll get over it.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“No, Veronica, no! I promise I am so okay with it. Just... the way you described it? Vera... that’s... pretty much exactly what I’ve been feeling. I just... don’t process my emotions well, as you know.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">That elicited a chuckle from the brunette, which startled JFK out of her lap. “You? Heather Chandler? Not processing emotions?”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“I know,” Heather said drily. “But what you just said... I don’t know how to describe how it felt to hear those words put to my deep dark scary feelings, but it was... a moment, for sure.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“So... you think you’ve been jealous too?”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“It makes sense. I have been snippier to them, now that I think about it.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“We thought you were just PMSing, no offense. You’ve also been hornier, so it <em>does</em> add up.” Veronica snickered.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“Well... okay, I hate to say that you’re right, but I <em>am</em> PMSing... but I’m also pretty sure the jealousy is the real root of this.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“I... yeah, okay.” Veronica tripped over her words in her exhausted state.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“But what do we do now that we know the emotion?”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“Heather, I’m the one who figures out the emotions. You figure out what the fuck we do about it. I can’t flirt for shit, it’s by pure chance that I even found out you were gay. I was drunk and caught up in the moment, and like... <em>horny for you</em>, so I kissed you. I’m bad at actions, you’re bad at words. We balance it out.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“Hmm,” Chandler hummed noncommittally. “You’re right. But we’re also tired, so I don’t think either of us is particularly good at <em>anything</em> right about now. Are you good to go to bed now, love?”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“Yeah, I think I am. Thanks for picking up the phone.” Veronica smiled. “Goodnight, Red. I love you.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“Night, ‘Ronica. Love you too.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">With a beep, the call disconnected, and both girls set their phones facedown and turned to fall asleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thanks so much for reading! kudos and comments are just very ♡</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading, guys! I hope you enjoy this new endeavor of mine. Kudos and comments are just Very. All my love.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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